So I'm fairly new to the game, I joined on October 19 and have played 11 games so far, so I may not know all the unspoken etiquette of the game, but today I was accused of being rude for simply sending messages before the game started. The player who accused me has over 55 games played and says:

Many players, myself included consider it rude to talk before the game is finalized and starts

When I asked why he considers it rude he said:

Because I don't know if you'll stay, this conversation could be a waste of time, which I find rude"

This seems like madness to me, is this really standard etiquette in the game?

Haha, I have never heard of this rule. Before the game starts is when the first set of deals, alliances, and negotiations are made. Maybe that persone was just having a bad day. Don't worry about it.

Agreed, don't worry about it.

It's a valid concern that some people join games and leave them again if they don't find their starting position interesting.

However, by your chat to discuss borders or other relevant game information, you show intent to participate in the game. (We haven't seen the message you started the chat with, so that *could* have been rude, but the way you phrase your question doesn't indicate that.)

If someone doesn't like the way you talk (or, if you don't like the way they talk, which is just as important!), you may have figured out where you should keep your borders strong.

So no, there's no unwritten rule about communication before the game starts. Now go ahead and feel confident to make decisions based on that chat!

tobold wrote:

Many players, myself included consider it rude to talk before the game is finalized and starts

When I asked why he considers it rude he said:

Because I don't know if you'll stay, this conversation could be a waste of time, which I find rude"

This seems like madness to me, is this really standard etiquette in the game?

It sounds like you are above the age of 22. And the person in question is below the age of 18. I wouldn't worry about it.