Zyxe gave the idea... I'm just starting it up
http://forums.subterfuge-game.com/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=1833&start=20

One fifth of people are just to tense!
I wanted to be an astronaut, but then my parents told me the sky's the limit.
Organ donors put their heart into it
Always give 100% in everything you do. . . . . Unless you're donating blood.
Four thirds of people do not understand fraction.

Ooh, ooh! Ill be good at these!

Whats brown and sticky? A stick!

Whats big, yellow, and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A bulldozer

Three cows are standing in a field. The first cow says "Have you heard about the Mad Cow Disease outbreak" The second cow replies "I'll be fine, im a helicopter" and the third cow yells "AHHHH!! TALKING COWS!!"

Want to here a new word i made up? Plagiarism

Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? Da brie (Debris) was everywhere!

There was a fire at the circus last week. It was in tents (Intense)

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his waist. The bartender asks if it hurts and the pirate replies "Aye, its driving me nuts!"

A baker puts a tray a cupcakes in the oven. The first cupcakes says to the next "Is it hot in here or is just me?" and the second cupcake screams "AHHHH! a talking cupcake!"

I have all of these committed to memory.

You come across a whale in the middle of the forest. You ask, "What are you doing here, whale?"
The whale responds, "I don't know. I'm a whale."

What's red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint

I still remember the last words my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket. "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

If an airplane has 500 bricks and one falls off, how many are left?
499

How do you put a giraffe in a fridge?
Open the door, put the giraffe in, close the door

How do you put a deer in the fridge?
Open the door, take the guraffe out, put the deer in, close the door

The lion king had a birthday party, and all animals showed up except one. Which one?
The deer. He's in the fridge

Amanda wants to cross a crocodile infested swamp, but has no boat and smells like chicken guts. How does she do it?
She just swims normally. The crocs are at the bday party

While she is crossing, she suddenly dies. How?
A falling brick hit her head

Some subterfuge homemade humor.


Q. How many kings does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Nobody knows because you always NEED another.

Q. Why did the smuggler cross the map?
A. To get to the other side, which was where he started from.

Q. What did the koala say to the assassi?
A. I scratch your back, you stab mine.

Two saboteurs walked into a bar. And out again.

Bit lame. Sorry folks.

nojo34 wrote:Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory? Da brie (Debris) was everywhere!

There was a fire at the circus last week. It was in tents (Intense)

Because you know they're good jokes when you have to explain their meanings in the answer. And carter those are great, I'm not a huge fan of puns, but those made me smile.

aclonicy wrote:I'm not a huge fan of puns

You know, I was kinda starting to like you. But that comment. That comment ruined it Puns are amazing.

Which president was the least guilty?
Lincoln. He was in a cent

mathwhiz9 wrote:

aclonicy wrote:I'm not a huge fan of puns

You know, I was kinda starting to like you. But that comment. That comment ruined it Puns are amazing.

Hey math, want to team up on him in the "No Spec" game?

Oh, hey Aclonicy, didn't see you over there...

Came here for terrible jokes- Ended up seeing the worst jokes

When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked!

I'm reading a book about an immortal dog, I just can't put it down!

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? Because he was out standing in his field.

I heard Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he had a great fall!

When the magician got mad, he pulled his hare out!

I used to work at an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.



And these are just the ones from memory!